This afternoon, around 2pm, I was getting ready to go out for an afternoon ski. I’d just got out the door, and put on my skiis, when one of the communty elders pulled up in front of the teacher apartment. He rolled down his window.

“Do you want some fish?” He said.

“Sure!” I replied.

He opened the driver door, got out, came around back, and opened the trunk. Sitting in the trunk, on a black garbage bag, was the biggest fish I’d ever seen.

“It’s a pike” he said. He explained that he’d caught it in his ice net on the Tsiigenjik River that morning. The pike was almost three feet long.

A fish like that would have cost a fair bit of money from a store, or from an expensive fishing trip. Here was a northern pike, sitting in the trunk of a car, fresh from the Tsiigenjik River. I thought the elder could use it. I asked, but he said I could have it. The serendipity was almost too much. Had I left the house 5 minutes earlier, this might have never happened.

I thanked him, and put my hands under the fish to lift it out of the trunk. It took both arms to lift it. It weighed almost 20 pounds, and felt like lifting a small animal. The fish was partly covered in snow, but still fresh. It sagged in my arms as I lifted it from the trunk. I could make out the fins, tail, gills, mouth, and eyes. It felt warm. I thought I could feel a pulse deep within it.

Holding this fish in my hands, I looked up at the elder. I realized I had no idea how to care for a fish like this. I’d never cleaned a fish on my own before. “What do I do with this?” I asked.

“You could fillet it, I guess” he said. I imagined I could find a Youtube tutorial, or something, to help me out. “You could also hold it up, and take a picture, and tell people ‘Hey! Look what I caught!’” He laughed.

“Thank you” not knowing what else to say, I offered, “If you ever need a hand with something please let me know.”

He waved, got back into his car, and drove off.

I was standing outside of my apartment, alone, with a giant fish. There was nothing to do but figure out what to do next. I was just going to have to dive right in, make mistakes, and do the best I could.

Back inside, I cleared off some space by the sink. A couple Youtube tutorials said you should start by cutting fillets off the back of the fish, then the sides.

The fish itself looked majestic. The face looked strong and powerful. The eyes looked clear and focused, the eyes of a hunter. The skin was speckled dark and light grey. The thick body suggested enormous muscular strength. I knew this was one of the most humane ways to recieve a fish, all the same, it felt tragic to lay it out on the counter. It was a powerful animal.

Before starting to fillet, I decided to wash the fish off. I started to run warm water over the head and upper body. The fish was still encrusted in snow, and as I rubbed snow off the face, the whole fish lurched. I jumped back. The fish lay still again. I shut off the water. While I had my hand on the side of the fish, I could have sworn I felt a pulse deep under the skin. The fish was possibly still alive.

Maybe it was just nerve function, or maybe the fish was still alive. Either way, I needed to act fast. For myself and the fish, I wanted it to be over as quick as possible. All I could remember was a Youtube video I’d seen years before about how to humanely kill a fish. You had to cut through the gills behind the head, and bleed it out. I typed into google “How to kill a pike.” None of the fishing Youtube videos really covered this. They told you how to catch it, how to cook it, and to “like and subscribe, and check out our sponsor.” It all seemed desenitized and detached from respecting an animal. I wished I had experience with this, or had someone to show me. I could have spent hours searching online for an answer, but the fish was still right next to me. I just had to try. I picked up my sharpest knife.

The knife pushed in behind the gill. I started to press and pull on the knife. As the knife cut through, my other hand pressed firmly against the pike’s body. It was not a smooth cut. It was a messy, uneven cut through bone and cartilage. Through the knife I was aware of every muscle, nerve, and bone. My left hand held firmly against the body. I thought there would be a spine joint I could push through, but I couldn’t find it. I had to keep cutting. My right hand pressed hard on the knife. I could feel tension and release in the muscles. The fish lurched as I entered the spine, and again as I broke through the other side.

The head came off into the sink basin. Next, I tried to press as much blood out of the body as possible. In the process, the entrails of the fish pushed out of the stomach cavity, and into the sink. I could still feel what felt like a heart pulsing in the carcass. I’d hoped that the fish would now blead out in a matter of moments. I crouched by the sink. For a moment, I felt faint.

Next I rolled the carcass onto its belly, and began the first cut. The knife went in just above the spine across the top of the carcass. I cut back as far as the rear top fin, and then pulled up. There was fillet number one. Next I cut down the side of the outer rib cage. Pikes have a “Y” bone, and there are a few methods to cut them out. I was using the first method that popped up on Youtube. The cut went down the side of the fish. Gradual strokes from the head, back to the anal fin. Slowly, the side fillet peeled off. I flipped the fish over, and removed the other side.

Underneath the chest cavity, I noticed two long yellow sacs running the length of the spine. They were cradled within the central chest cavity. I removed them, careful not to puncture either one, and placed them aside. I did a little googling, and found out they were egg sacs. My head spun. It was female, and it was pregnant. How many thousands of eggs were there?

All this time, I knew the most responsible thing I could do was use each part of the fish. Leave nothing to waste. How many thousands of years have humans fished? I was far from the first, or the last, to prepare a fish for eating. Bears, wolves, even fish, eat fish. This was nothing horrific, it was humbling. If this animal gave its life, I should make sure its life was carried as far as possible. I would share what I had, and if I were to do this again, I would learn how to do it in a way that used as much of the fish as possible - and to returned what I could not use to the land.

In the end, there were five fillets and a carcass on the counter. There was the head and fish tail floating in the sink. I had entrails on one plate, and fish eggs on another. The kitchen counter, floor, and wall, my hands, and a half dozen knives were covered in guts and fish slime. Youtube makes this look way to easy.

All the same, once they were cleaned and sliced, there were several good looking fillets ready to bake. I had nothing but olive oil and salt to season them. They baked for 25 minutes at 375C. The fish tasted like buttery popcorn. It was incredible. Sometimes a simple recipe works best.

For the fish eggs (which I found out is called “Roe”) I followed directions online that suggested you soak them in brine for 30 minutes. You could eat them raw after that, but I wasn’t ready for caviar. I took a lightly oiled cast iron pan, and added them in with a finely chopped onion, oregano, sprinkle of salt, and garlic powder. They tasted like warm, fatty quinoa. It was a delicacy. They were a bit too salty, but apparently less time in the brine can help that.

I still had four large fillets, four carcass sections (which I will use as a soup base), and a container of Roe. This was after I shared cooked fillets with my two neighbours, and another teacher who lives down the road. I estimate that this one fish gave 30 portions. If I’d known what to do with the head and tail, there could have been several more portions from it. What an amazing animal.

I felt exhausted by the end of it all. It took another hour of dishes, and a load of laundry, to clean the kitchen. The slime is impossible to get off your hands, but it comes off easily with vinegar. That was another great Youtube tip.

This was a good day - an unexpected day, and very humbling. Thinking back to the students in my classes, this is something that perhaps not all have had experience with. At the same time, several already know how to work with fish and other animals. The process of learning how to work with this fish was huge. I don’t know how to put this into their classroom learning. I don’t think there’s a Youtube video for that. I could spend hours scouring the internet for information for this, or any other thing, but my students are right there, waiting. I just have to try, make mistakes, and do the best I can.

Whishing you an excellent week ahead.

Lyndon

Tsiigehtchic, NWT